Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Semen is not good for contacts.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
