we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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