God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
