I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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