Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
