Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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