is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
