508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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