just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
