i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize