If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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