He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
