i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
