sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
