I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
