You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
