Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
