we have officially lost it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize