Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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