There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
