Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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