yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
