smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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