We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
