You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Randomize
