No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
