just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I need moral support for this bender
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
