A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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