Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
