why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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