There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
