Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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