Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
