Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
