I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My feet surprised me
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
