Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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