Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize