This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
