i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
