brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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