obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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