He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
