google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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