Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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