I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize