I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize