there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
