two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
