I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My day in three words: secret purse cake
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
