Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
