Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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