She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
