remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
