you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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