Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
