this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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