the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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