WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
