i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
