Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
