I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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