ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
