i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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