Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
