Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
