i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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