Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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