There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
